If I get one more ‘Black Friday’ or ‘Cyber Monday’ deal in my inbox I think I am going to puke!

I may have become the Grinch of Black Friday deals. Only instead of stealing the happy Christmas, I want to make all the FOMO (fear of missing out) and crazy competition for the lowest price just go the fuck away!!

I have an evil plan, one for you to reclaim your sanity if you are up for some fun!

First thing, let’s all take a deep breath and get into the headspace of that Grinch dog.

 That adorable pouch that no matter what the big bad Grinch did to him, still found joy. Tail wagging as he had antlers strapped on and pulling that ginormous sleigh all by himself.

 How did he do it?

You may not have a tail, but if you shake your ass it will make you just as happy, cause it is hard to stay miserable when you are shaking your ass.

Try it!!

No really – try it right now!

See what I mean? And that was just you imagining to shake your ass – I know you! You did not actually get up off your butt to shake your cute touch of yours.  😉

I forgive you!

I still love you!

Okay, next stage in this plan is to unplug from the consumer vortex hell that allows this Black Friday to suck you in!

Use that vivid imagination to unplug yourself from all the hooks and lies that are created from consumerism. Leaving you with the choice to spend, not the fake need to spend!

Bam! That is what I am talking about!!

Freedom!!

Okay, for those of you who are really serious about breaking free I give you the magic words that you can use any time you feel that hand of desperate consumerism creeping up from under the stairs to grab your ankle and yank you down into the cellar.

“Can’t touch this!”

 Now that you have that annoying 90’s rap song stuck in your head, sorry, not sorry.

 Chuck all the have to’s and should do’s, and ought to’s in the fuck it bucket and go have some fun!!

May your next Holiday season be a little less scary!

 

 

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