I have a confession to make. Can I tell you my secret?
If you do not follow me, I am a former dominatrix – that is not my secret – and I am great at teaching people how to stand in their own power. However, last weekend I went into the trap of making myself wrong (and not standing in my power). I was holding onto this idea of, “Well that decision did not turn out quite the way I had intended. So, therefore, I must be wrong!”
Luckily, a friend of mine kicked my ass by saying,
“You are one of the strongest women I know. And you know what? If a guy decided that his current path was not the right fit and wanted to change his mind, he would not be sitting there thinking, ‘I’m flaky!’ No! He would say, ‘I tried, it is not for me so I am moving on. Thanks very much!’ And everybody would applaud!”
And she was correct!
Now, this is not a male versus female topic. However, it is important to note that women typically apologize for making mistakes and for ‘getting it wrong’. Which is crazy! If you ask any highly successful business person how many times they have failed, the answer is always, “A lot!” However, they never view failure as a failure and keep their eyes on the end goal instead of fixating on the “right” outcome. Failure is a learning curve that always provides exactly what we need to take the next step.
So, what happened?
Recently, I joined a networking group and then decided to start a local chapter. Leading up to the first meeting I thought, “Oh, this is great! It is online, I do not have to go in person, there are some cool benefits, and I get to have a bit of control over it!” It sounded great until it came time to run the first meeting at which point I realized that this does not align with me and my brand. (I am the type of person that has to be fully in charge, which means I need to be running the whole global enterprise, not just the local chapter.) So this particular opportunity would never fully align with me.
Sure, many people could sit here and say, “Stick it out, you need to do this, you need to expand and network.” But that is a perfect recipe for resentment, and therefore it will never work “the way that it is supposed to work”. That is the thing — When we are out of alignment with who we are and how we move in the world, things do not work out. Yes, some people may kick ass at networking and building a network, but if that is not who you are, that strategy will not work for you. Instead, lean into your genius and do not make yourself wrong for being great at something different than everybody else!
What is the perfect formula?
Here is the thing. If you are looking for someone to tell you the perfect formula for success, you will never find it. You cannot follow the cookie-cutter systems if they are not in alignment with you. Instead, take the pieces from the systems that do align with you and create a formula that will work for you.
I guarantee that you have already worked with coaches
and tried many “proven” systems.
If they actually worked for you,
you would already have the desired outcome.
So, what do you do?
Find your perfect formula by leaning in and following your intuition (that feeling inside your heart that you know works for you). Then, your business takes off because it is yours and you are not reliant on anybody else!
Here is an example. I recently hosted an eight-person retreat. To fill the spots, I reached out to nine people. That is an incredible result. Eight out of the nine said yes, and the ninth was a maybe for the future. Nearly 100%.
Most business coaches would hear that and tell me to reach out to more people and I could sell even more, but that is not the system that works for me.
I follow my intuition on who to reach out to and when and from that I have a near perfect sales record with minimal time.
The key takeaways:
- Drop the “making yourself wrong” belief.
- When you try things, it is just a trial! You get to taste, try on, and roll around in it and then decide, yes or no.
- It is okay to say no to things.
- When you realize that it is a bad fit, start leaning into doing what works for you in the way that it works for you! Find your system.
It is time for you to ditch the idea that you are not the VIP in your business and own your superpowers for how to be even more successful. Time to own your Inner Dominatrix™ Head over to www.bookDana.in to schedule a consultation.
