Has anyone called you a cold heartless bitch lately? If not, perhaps your business is not big enough. The thing is, the more you grow your business the more people want to judge you. These individuals want what you have but are unwilling to let go of something near and dear to them. What are they holding onto? Being the victim. The people who lash out are attached to this idea that “It is outside of my control and so it must be your fault that I am not successful”.
Unless we let go of the idea that something outside of us is responsible for our success or failure, we will never look for solutions or strategies. That is the key! If your business has hit the seven-plus figure mark, then you have likely let go of the need to be the victim. You have realized that when you want something, you are responsible for making the change.
Even though we know this, being called a cold heartless bitch can still sting. So, I have outlined three steps to prevent the emotional stress caused by someone lashing out at you.
*** Now I highly recommend that you work with your business advisor to determine your triggers so that these steps do not trigger you in the first place.
Step One:
Take a deep breath. Just allow yourself to step way back from the situation. This will enable you to find a new perspective.
Step Two:
Look at the situation through the eyes of someone compassionate. (Anyone that you view as compassionate: Jesus, Buddha, Gandhi, Mother Teressa, Princess Diana etc. Whatever works for you.) Really stand in their shoes and ask yourself, “How would Jesus/Buddha/Gandhi see this person? How would they view this person’s life, their current situation, and the fact that they are lashing out?” The reality is, the person is in a state where they feel completely out of control of their own life, and that is a horrible place to be in!
Step Three:
Look at this person with compassion. If you can start to look at them with genuine, heartfelt compassion (not pity) and see where they are and their struggles, your thinking will shift, and the charged emotion with dissipate.
Look, when someone lashes out at you, the accusation is never about you. It is always about the person saying it. So when someone lashes out, know this is because of their own inability to let go of their highly emotional nature. Why? They are stuck in the victim mode, and that is where they want to be. Even though they might say otherwise, they are still really quite attached to it. Victim mode is kind of like an abusive partner.
So, to recap, take a deep breath and step back. Put yourself in the shoes of someone you respect, (Gandhi/Jesus/Mother Teresa/Princess Dianna/Buddha, whoever works for you) and view the situation through their eyes. Then look at the person with compassion.
If you cannot get yourself to naturally and easily shift into a place of genuine compassion after doing these three steps, then you yourself might still be holding onto a little bit of victim mode. If that is the case, let us talk. You need a trusted advisor on your team who will constantly support you and keep you and your business moving forward.
That is your inner dominatrix moment for today. Keep it awesome, and we will see you on the flip side.
